come clean

DUST forever

I'm eating an apple that tastes like nothing because I just smoked a cigarette. Cigarettes make your fingers smell bad, make your head hurt and make everything shittier in general. I just found out about Luis, and my other friend is going through a really rough time right now. I wish I was in San Francisco. I am really tempted to fly out for spring break because the tickets aren't that pricey, but it's probably not a great idea.

I have exams this week and then winter quarter is finally over. I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do over spring quarter, how I can try to pull a strong end to the year. I've decided to quit one of my jobs, as I only work 10 hours a week there as it is, but it's on the weekend, which takes out any open days I have for homework or actually getting some rest. During the break next week, I'm planning on participating in a photojournalism workshop with some other students at RIT, and I'm also finally meeting with a mother in the area who has a son with Asperger's for my documentary project. I'm excited that it's finally getting off the ground, but also unsure if this will be the right person.

My goal for next quarter is to just attack, photograph anything and everything I can. And also the events of the last few days have made me realize how important it is to me to shoot film. I'm seriously considering just putting my digital camera in a box in my closet and not using it. I want to get back to how I used to shoot-- natural, organic, honest and from my heart. I want to write more. I want to be curious about things again. A lot of what I've missed about this year is that I haven't had friends and other students pushing me to do more work. I've been ahead of most of my class and it hasn't really been to my advantage.